Raising Boys to be Men: Indonesian Muslim Single Mothers’ Perspective
Abstract
Due to the pressure of society on boys as the future heads of households, in addition to the trend of masculinity crisis and male underachievement in education, single parents bear the massive burden of parenting, educating and nurturing boys without the presence of their fathers. Single mothers must prepare specific strategies to fulfil their boys need for a father figure. This study aims to provide an overview of single mothers' strategies for parenting their sons. This study uses a qualitative method. The phenomenological approach is used in this study. Researchers used purposive sampling in selecting informants, 5 informants were single mothers, 3 were due to the death of their husbands, and 2 were due to divorce. Data collection was carried out using in-depth interviews and documentation techniques. The analysis uses NVivo software. The findings of this study imply that to build the character of boys, apart from religious education and leadership, it is necessary to teach responsibility and train entrepreneurship skills so that they can stand on their own. To anticipate the father's absence, he can be replaced or rely on close relatives such as uncles, grandfathers and ustadz or teachers as a filler for the male figure. Besides, being a single mother due to divorce does not cut off the child's communication with his biological father. This paper sheds light on cross-gender parenting practices among Muslim single mothers. As a policy maker or social institution, it is appropriate to provide programs that help single mothers care for and educate their sons.
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References
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[20] Molina, C. (2018). The Influence of Fatherlessness in the Lives of Puerto Rican Men Submitted by. https://doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.12314.08647
[21] Muarifah, A., Widyastuti, D., & Fajarwati, I. (2019). The Effect of Social Support on Single Mothers’ Subjective Well-Being and Its Implication for Counseling. Jurnal Kajian Bimbingan Dan Konseling, 4(4), 143–149. https://doi.org/10.17977/um001v4i42019p143
[22] Nur, R. (2021). Pola Asuh Ibu Tunggal dalam Mengembangkan Kecerdasan Sosial Anak Usia Dini (Studi Deskriptif pada Anak Usia 4 - 6 Tahun). Musawa: Journal for Gender Studies, 13(1), 82–105. https://doi.org/10.24239/msw.v13i1.741
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[24] Pablo, L. A., Erkhembayar, R., & Davison, C. M. (2021). Father Presence, Father Engagement, and Specific Health and Developmental Outcomes of Mongolian Pre-School Children. Children, 8(7), 584. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.3390/children8070584
[25] Panter-Brick, C., Burgess, A., Eggerman, M., McAllister, F., Pruett, K., & Leckman, J. (2014). Practitioner Review: Engaging fathers - recommendations for a game change in parenting interventions based on a systematic review of the global evidence. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 55(11), 1187–1212. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.12280
[26] Paquette, D., Coyl-Shepherd, D., & Newland, L. (2013). Fathers and development: New areas for exploration. Early Child Development and Care, 183(6), 735–745. https://doi.org/10.1080/03004430.2012.723438
[27] Paramita, E. (2019). Analisis Pola Jaringan Komunikasi Orang Tua Tunggal (single parents) Terhadap Perilaku Anak. Media Bina Ilmiah, 13(1), 1833. https://doi.org/10.33758/mbi.v13i12.267
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[32] Saputri, L. M., Anwar, S., Susanto, H., & Laksana, S. D. (2022). The Role of Parenting in Forming Independent Character and Discipline. Diversity Science, 2(1), 158–170.
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[34] Suitor, J., Con Wright, G., Johnson, K., Peng, S., & Gilligan, M. (2015). Parent–Child Relations. In The Encyclopedia of Adulthood and Aging. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781118521373.wbeaa161
[35] Susilowati, T., Dacholfany, M. I., Amini, S., Ikhwan, A., Nasir, B. M., Huda, M., Prasetyo, A., Maseleno, A., Satria, F., & Hartati, S. (2018). Getting parents involved in child’s school: using attendance application system based on SMS gateway. International Journal of Engineering and Technology (UAE), 7(2.27), 167–174.
[36] Ullah, R., & Ullah, D. (2019). Boys versus Girls Educational Performance in Education:Evidences from Global North and South. African Educational Research Journal, 7(4), 163–167. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.30918/AERJ.74.19.036
[37] Vitz, P. C. (2013). Faith of the Fatherless the Psychology of Atheism. Ignatius Press.
[38] Wasserman, M. R. (2020). The Disparate Effects of Family Structure. The Future of Children, 30, 55–81. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1353/foc.2020.0008
[39] Wei, X., Zhuang, M., & Xue, L. (2023). Father presence and resilience of Chinese adolescents in middle school: Psychological security and learning failure as mediators. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.1042333
[40] Winarti, A., & Astuti, L. (2022). Parenting Pattern of Orphan and Dhuafa Children in Building Religious Character. Al-Hayat: Journal of Islamic Education, 6(2), 320–334. https://doi.org/10.35723/ajie.v6i2.284
[41] Wisnuwardani, D., & Mashoedi, S. F. (2012). Hubungan Interpersonal. Salemba Humanika.
[42] Zuhdi, M. S. (2021). Intensive Parenting Training Based on Child Protection Through the Rapid Rural Appraisal (RRA) Method of Field Study in Blitar Regency. Al-Hayat: Journal of Islamic Education, 5(1), 89–99.
[2] APA. (2022). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition, text revision. American Psychiatric Association.
[3] Apaydin Cirik, V., Aksoy, B., & Bulut, E. (2023). Attitudes of parents in the role of a father in Turkey toward child sex education and their sexual communication with their children. Journal of Pediatric Nursing, 69, e105–e113. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pedn.2022.12.014
[4] Aressa, V., Nirwana, H., & Bentri, A. (2016). Komunikasi Interpersonal Anak dan Orangtua ditinjau dari Jenis Kelamin, Tingkat Pendidikan Orangtua, dan Daerah Tempat Tinggal serta Implikasinya pada Bimbingan dan Konseling. Konselor, 5(3), 139. https://doi.org/10.24036/02016536500-0-00
[5] Birhan, W., Shiferaw, G., Amsalu, A., Tamiru, M., & Tiruye, H. (2021). Exploring the Context of Teaching Character Education to Children in Preprimary and Primary Schools. Social Sciences & Humanities Open, 4(1), 100171. https://doi.org/10.1016/J.SSAHO.2021.100171
[6] Biro. (2020). Statistik Indonesia 2020. Badan Pusat Statistik Indonesia. https://www.bps.go.id/publication/2020/04/29/e9011b3155d45d70823c141f/statistik-indonesia-2020.html
[7] Bocknek, E. L. (2020). A Family Systems Perspective on Father Absence, Presence, and Engagement. Handbook of Fathers and Child Development, 105–120. https://api.semanticscholar.org/CorpusID:226676308
[8] Clarisa, I. O., & Hedi, P. S. (2018). Pola Komunikasi Pengasuhan IbuSingle Parent. Interaksi Online, 6(3), 117–125. https://ejournal3.undip.ac.id/index.php/interaksi-online/article/view/20983
[9] Cuesta-Benjumea, C. (2015). The quality of qualitative research: From evaluation to attainment. Texto & Contexto - Enfermagem, 24(3), 883–890. https://doi.org/10.1590/0104-070720150001150015
[10] Daryanani, I., Hamilton, J., Abramson, L., & Alloy, L. (2016). Single Mother Parenting and Adolescent Psychopathology. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 44(7), 1411–1423. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-016-0128-x
[11] East, L., Jackson, D., Power, T., Woods, A., & Hutchinson, M. (2014). “Holes in my Memories”: A Qualitative Study of Men Affected by Father Absence. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 35(8), 604–612. https://doi.org/10.3109/01612840.2013.867466
[12] Gardner, D. M. (2011). Parents’ Influence on Child Social Self-Efficacy and Social Cognition. Influence on Child Social Self-Efficacy and Social Cognition. http://epublications.marquette.edu/theses_open/116
[13] Goodman, S. H., Rouse, M. H., Connell, A. M., Broth, M. R., Hall, C. M., & Heyward, D. (2011). Maternal depression and child psychopathology: a meta-analytic review. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 14(1), 1–27. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10567-010-0080-1
[14] Irianti, S. (2020). Gambaran Optimisme Dan Kesejahteraan Subjektif Pada Ibu Tunggal di Usia Dewasa Madya. Psikoborneo: Jurnal Ilmiah Psikologi, 8(1), 107–116. https://doi.org/http://dx.doi.org/10.30872/psikoborneo.v8i1.4865
[15] Kalil, A., Mogstad, M., Rege, M., & Votruba, M. (2016). Father Presence and the Intergenerational Transmission of Educational Attainment. Journal of Human Resources, 51(4), 869–899. https://doi.org/10.3368/jhr.51.4.1014-6678R
[16] Lee, J. (2020). Non-cognitive characteristics and academic achievement in Southeast Asian countries based on PISA 2009, 2012, and 2015. OECD Education Working Papers, 233. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1787/c3626e2f-en
[17] Liang, L., Berger, U., & Brand, C. (2019). Psychosocial factors associated with symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress among single mothers with young children: A population-based study. Journal of Affective Disorders, 242, 255–264. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2018.08.013
[18] Matlakala, F. K. (2019). Experiences Of Teen Fathers’ Relationship With Significant Others In Vaalbank, Mpumalanga Province, South Africa. E-Bangi Journal of Social Sciences & Humanities, 16(4). https://ejournal.ukm.my/ebangi/article/view/33199
[19] McKelley, R. A., & Rochlen, A. B. (2016). Furthering fathering: What we know and what we need to know. In Y. J. Wong & S. R. Wester (Eds.). In APA handbook of men and masculinities (pp. 525–549). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1037/14594-024
[20] Molina, C. (2018). The Influence of Fatherlessness in the Lives of Puerto Rican Men Submitted by. https://doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.12314.08647
[21] Muarifah, A., Widyastuti, D., & Fajarwati, I. (2019). The Effect of Social Support on Single Mothers’ Subjective Well-Being and Its Implication for Counseling. Jurnal Kajian Bimbingan Dan Konseling, 4(4), 143–149. https://doi.org/10.17977/um001v4i42019p143
[22] Nur, R. (2021). Pola Asuh Ibu Tunggal dalam Mengembangkan Kecerdasan Sosial Anak Usia Dini (Studi Deskriptif pada Anak Usia 4 - 6 Tahun). Musawa: Journal for Gender Studies, 13(1), 82–105. https://doi.org/10.24239/msw.v13i1.741
[23] Nurwahidin, N., Mahruza, N. Q., & Al Asyhar, T. (2019). Children’s Self Acceptance Raised by Single Mother: Analysis Study in Moslem Family. Khalifa: Journal of Islamic Education, 3(2), 90–106. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.24036/kjie.v3i2.25
[24] Pablo, L. A., Erkhembayar, R., & Davison, C. M. (2021). Father Presence, Father Engagement, and Specific Health and Developmental Outcomes of Mongolian Pre-School Children. Children, 8(7), 584. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.3390/children8070584
[25] Panter-Brick, C., Burgess, A., Eggerman, M., McAllister, F., Pruett, K., & Leckman, J. (2014). Practitioner Review: Engaging fathers - recommendations for a game change in parenting interventions based on a systematic review of the global evidence. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 55(11), 1187–1212. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.12280
[26] Paquette, D., Coyl-Shepherd, D., & Newland, L. (2013). Fathers and development: New areas for exploration. Early Child Development and Care, 183(6), 735–745. https://doi.org/10.1080/03004430.2012.723438
[27] Paramita, E. (2019). Analisis Pola Jaringan Komunikasi Orang Tua Tunggal (single parents) Terhadap Perilaku Anak. Media Bina Ilmiah, 13(1), 1833. https://doi.org/10.33758/mbi.v13i12.267
[28] Patton, M. Q. (2014). Qualitative evaluation and research methods. Sage Publications.
[29] Piotrowska, P. J., Tully, L. A., Lenroot, R., Kimonis, E., Hawes, D., Moul, C., Frick, P. J., Anderson, V., & Dadds, M. R. (2017). Mothers, Fathers, and Parental Systems: A Conceptual Model of Parental Engagement in Programmes for Child Mental Health-Connect, Attend, Participate, Enact (CAPE). Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 20(2), 146–161. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10567-016-0219-9
[30] Ramchandani, P., Domoney, J., Sethna, V., Psychogiou, L., Vlachos, H., & Murray, L. (2012). Do early father-infant interactions predict the onset of externalising behaviours in young children? Findings from a longitudinal cohort study. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, and Allied Disciplines, 54(1), 56–64. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2012.02583.x
[31] Rima. (2023). Informant structured interview.
[32] Saputri, L. M., Anwar, S., Susanto, H., & Laksana, S. D. (2022). The Role of Parenting in Forming Independent Character and Discipline. Diversity Science, 2(1), 158–170.
[33] Siegle, D. (2018). Understanding Underachievement. In Handbook of Giftedness in Children (pp. 285–297). https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-77004-8_16
[34] Suitor, J., Con Wright, G., Johnson, K., Peng, S., & Gilligan, M. (2015). Parent–Child Relations. In The Encyclopedia of Adulthood and Aging. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781118521373.wbeaa161
[35] Susilowati, T., Dacholfany, M. I., Amini, S., Ikhwan, A., Nasir, B. M., Huda, M., Prasetyo, A., Maseleno, A., Satria, F., & Hartati, S. (2018). Getting parents involved in child’s school: using attendance application system based on SMS gateway. International Journal of Engineering and Technology (UAE), 7(2.27), 167–174.
[36] Ullah, R., & Ullah, D. (2019). Boys versus Girls Educational Performance in Education:Evidences from Global North and South. African Educational Research Journal, 7(4), 163–167. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.30918/AERJ.74.19.036
[37] Vitz, P. C. (2013). Faith of the Fatherless the Psychology of Atheism. Ignatius Press.
[38] Wasserman, M. R. (2020). The Disparate Effects of Family Structure. The Future of Children, 30, 55–81. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1353/foc.2020.0008
[39] Wei, X., Zhuang, M., & Xue, L. (2023). Father presence and resilience of Chinese adolescents in middle school: Psychological security and learning failure as mediators. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.1042333
[40] Winarti, A., & Astuti, L. (2022). Parenting Pattern of Orphan and Dhuafa Children in Building Religious Character. Al-Hayat: Journal of Islamic Education, 6(2), 320–334. https://doi.org/10.35723/ajie.v6i2.284
[41] Wisnuwardani, D., & Mashoedi, S. F. (2012). Hubungan Interpersonal. Salemba Humanika.
[42] Zuhdi, M. S. (2021). Intensive Parenting Training Based on Child Protection Through the Rapid Rural Appraisal (RRA) Method of Field Study in Blitar Regency. Al-Hayat: Journal of Islamic Education, 5(1), 89–99.
Published
2023-09-15
How to Cite
KAMALUDIN, Faisal Sundani; SYARIFUL, Syariful.
Raising Boys to be Men: Indonesian Muslim Single Mothers Perspective.
Al-Hayat: Journal of Islamic Education, [S.l.], v. 7, n. 2, p. 577-588, sep. 2023.
ISSN 2599-3046.
Available at: <https://alhayat.or.id/index.php/alhayat/article/view/426>. Date accessed: 03 nov. 2025.
doi: https://doi.org/10.35723/ajie.v7i2.426.
Section
Articles
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
